Repost: Secrets to a Happy Marriage

When Joanna of Cup of Jo went on her honeymoon this fall, she invited several people to guest blog on her site their secrets to a happy marriage. One of my favorites was by Craig Nova. Don't miss the link to the letter he wrote to his beautiful daughter Abbey on her wedding day.

Hafiz Knows the Way You Can Get

I know the way you can get

When you have not had a drink of Love:

Your face hardens,
Your sweet muscles cramp.
Children become concerned
About a strange look that appears in your eyes
Which even begins to worry your own mirror
And nose.

Squirrels and birds sense your sadness
And call an important conference in a tall tree.
They decide which secret code to chant
To help your mind and soul.

Even angels fear that brand of madness
That arrays itself against the world
And throws sharp stones and spears into
The innocent
And into one's self.

O I know the way you can get
If you have not been drinking Love:

You might rip apart
Every sentence your friends and teachers say,
Looking for hidden clauses.

You might weigh every word on a scale
Like a dead fish.

You might pull out a ruler to measure
From every angle in your darkness
The beautiful dimensions of a heart you once
Trusted.

I know the way you can get
If you have not had a drink from Love's
Hands.

That is why all the Great Ones speak of
The vital need
To keep remembering God,
So you will come to know and see Him
As being so Playful
And Wanting,
Just Wanting to help.

That is why Hafiz says:
Bring your cup near me.

For I am a Sweet Old Vagabond
With an Infinite Leaking Barrel
Of Light and Laughter and Truth
That the Beloved has tied to my back.

Dear one,
Indeed, please bring your heart near me.
For all I care about
Is quenching your thirst for freedom!

All a Sane man can ever care about
Is giving Love!

From: 'I Heard God Laughing - Renderings of Hafiz' - Daniel Ladinsky 

Placentophagia

 Oskar's and My Placenta, Steamed

In East Asian Medicine, human placenta is a healing post-partum tonic for both mother and nursing baby.

For the mother, the placenta provides nourishment on the order of restoring the qi and blood that was lost during birth. As such, taking the placenta can enhance lactation, uplift the spirit, and provide a new mother with some much-needed ballast.

For the nursing baby, here is a rare and precious opportunity to boost her/his pre-natal jing. Pre-natal jing is the treasure and inheritance that each person receives from her/his parents, and is therefore something that cannot be renewed or restored. We consume it continuously as we live our lives, and death comes to us once this store is spent.

Personally, Dan and I felt there was something very special about consuming the placenta. It represented the organ  that grew out of the powerful love that Dan and I had for each other, so powerful as to call forth and hold a new life. It represented the organ that provided an important, sacred boundary between Oskar and me; it both bonded him to me as well as shielded him from me during his forty-one weeks inside. Eating it was the most natural thing to do. It was also very exciting and sensational!

Here is the recipe Dan used in preparing the placenta. It is best for the placenta be prepared with intention and love.

1. Rinse the placenta;
2. Steam the placenta, with a hot pepper, slices of ginger, and a slice of lime in the water, over low heat for 15 minutes;

3. Turn it over and continue to steam for another 15 minutes;
4. After steaming, slice the placenta into thin strips;
5. Lay the strips on a baking sheet and place them in the oven on warm (lowest setting);
6. Dry the placenta strips until they are dehydrated enough to snap (about 8 to 10 hours);
7. Break the dry strips into smaller pieces and then grind them to powder with a mortar and pestle.

8. Consume daily, and store in a cool, dark place.

How did it taste?

To me, very gamey and primal.

I felt like a wild animal when I took my daily tablespoon dose.

Gratitude

Among the many people and things I feel thankful for today, six and a half (gasp) years of and with Dan.

Four Years Ago Yesterday

Four years ago yesterday, Dan and I got married at City Hall.

We had the loveliest day: morning ceremony and breakfast at Dan's favorite Cafe Orlin on Saint Marks with my brother, sister, and best friend as witnesses, a movie, then dinner at the River Cafe.

We went on to have two more public celebrations, a loft party in Brooklyn and a church wedding in California, so we celebrated big.

I am so happy we had the small, quiet day together when we actually wed, so we could focus on just us.

Yesterday, we lunched at Union Square Cafe and watched Where the Wild Things Are.  Magic.

Second Month of Pregnancy

In the second month, the mother's breath conducts the symphonic movement of embryonic qi in its minute currents, eddies, and whirlpools that ultimately grow into the baby's organs, flesh, bones, meridians.

Be aware of the breath.

In their beautiful book on mindful parenting, Everyday Blessings, Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn say this about the breath:

"Through ongoing practice, it is possible to develop an intimacy with the breath that extends your awareness into whatever else is happening in your world at that moment. Cultivating awareness in this way allows the deep potential in each moment to become available to you."

Would could have deeper potential than the child growing in your womb?

Losing Time in Mexico

A few years ago, Dan and I desperately needed to travel... we were long time, but short funds.

This is what we did:
We flew on frequent flier miles to Cozumel.
Stayed at Alicia's B & B (a mere $30 a night then, and Chuco is a master of breakfasts and fresh guacamole).
We snorkled every day.

We were there so long, and we were so lost in vacation, that we seriously lost track of time: we celebrated Dan's birthday for three days because we kept mixing up the date.

On the Virtues of Taking the Slow Boat

In March of 2003, I left my life behind to travel.

I flew to Bangkok on the 3rd, and by March 27th, I was floating down the Mekong River on the slow boat next to a tall, mysterious fox in navy and green. You have two choices in the northern Thailand crossing into Luang Prabang, Laos: the slow boat takes two days in a leisurely drift, whereas the time taken by the fast boat can be measured in mere hours. With the fast boat, however, they hand you a crash helmet upon boarding, which sufficiently ensures the popularity of the slow boat, no matter the rush.

Within three days of meeting him, I fell treacherously in love.